No person can change another person. One can only change by their own will. Each person decides by themselves, when they should find their intimate partner for harmonious relationships. Two loving people cannot take away, they only build on each other. The world is such that we create by ourselves. By creating positivity, we create a positive life. Love needs to be awakened, not demanded. Love in a way, that by loving you feel you’ve received, not in the way that you feel others owe you for it.
Start creating harmonious relationships by starting from yourself, because only a harmonious human being can create harmonious relationships. Every person is free from birth – that is how he should remain. If your partner loves you and spends time with you, that doesn’t mean he’s yours. A person you love cannot be a means to an end, it’s someone who you need to walk alongside with. By attaching another, you attach yourself. Only by letting the other person be free, can you be free yourself.
(A few thoughts from the text)

Many of us want to have an intimate partner as well as a beautiful and harmonious relationship, but it’s not always as we want it to be. Some of us feel lonely and can’t feel a person who our heart would like to be with. It also often happens that when we find a person for intimate relationships they aren’t as we expected them to be, and we get disappointed. How do we find the right person? What to do to have a harmonious relationship? First of all, ask yourself, if you really want to find that person. Are you 100% ready for it? Is there nothing stopping you for this relationship? Because every doubt or fear, even the slightest one is a roadblock. Some people think that they can’t find a partner, because it’s not time yet for some unclear reasons. But the right timing and the readiness isn’t set by destiny or some higher forces, but you. And when you’re ready, it all happens with ease.

Many people devalue themselves for one reason or another, and that’s a huge blockage for creating a relationship, that we put onto ourselves. Devaluation arises for all kinds of reasons: looks, financial situation, all kinds of qualities of character… By devaluing yourself, you immediately put a label on yourself that says “not ready for a relationship”, and people, especially potential partners can feel that very well. Who would want to be with someone who’s not ready?

Strong relationships can’t be built on materiality. Most people are bound by the stereotype that, in order to have a good relationship, you should have a house, a car, some special place in the society and many more stereotypes. Such relationships are weak from the beginning – a program is immediately set in action, and a person that you’re looking for is one who may not need you, but who needs to get something from you, and you become “drained”. If you’ve put up this program, it means that you probably want a person like this and you’re going to attract them, and not one of them. But is it worth it? I think it’s not, because what is the use of such relationship that’s not based on love? In each failure you’ll probably feel tension, not support from your partner, you’ll be pressured by him, because without the materiality you’d simply become obsolete for them. There simply won’t be any fulfillment in your relationship and they’ll be very fragile. Another common case of self-devaluation is looks. Many people devalue themselves for their physical shape, facial features, height and anything else you can think of. In life it’s important to start from changing yourself. Only by changing yourself, can you change your environment. To put it more precisely, the environment will be changing by itself, if you’ll be changing. The same with love, first you must love yourself. Your love will fulfill you and you’ll be radiating it to others like a fountain of love energy that everyone can enjoy. It’s much more fun to be with a person who’s radiating love and joy than a sad mope. Every person is unique, everyone’s beautiful in their own way, and every person has their path of life. By walking one’s path of life, one meets other people that he learns something from and gains experience. In their path, one meets only those people who he needs. Thus, if you don’t love yourself, don’t find yourselves beautiful, then you’ll attract people around you, who won’t love you and devalue you, too. But no need to get angry toward them. There are so many people around you who have all kinds of tastes, so love yourself, love others, glow and the people you need and people who love you will come to your life. I’ve also noticed one popular program people put on themselves, when they call all men or all women negatively, e.g. “all men are dumb”… With such program present, the only people who are attracted are those, who match your description. With this program you’ve set limits, because of which different kinds of people can’t come into your life. You should never set such limitations, blockages or programs. People feel such programs, not all of them consciously, but they feel them. Even by blurting out such a phrase jokingly, you can add something that’s not needed onto yourself. The world is what we make it be. Only by creating positivity will you be seeing positivity in your life. Some of you are now probably thinking that you’re better off alone, that love hurts, that partners are hindering you and you’re better off being alone. If you think that, it means you’re not ready for relationships. Love can’t stop, true relationships can’t hinder you. Because in this relationship, when giving, you don’t feel you lent something, but you feel like you’ve received. Two loving people can’t deduce, they add onto each other. If you don’t feel that, look for answers within yourself. Ask yourself: Why am I not ready for a harmonious love-based relationship? That’s how life works – a man needs a woman, and a woman needs a man. Otherwise, distortions occur – diseases, not feeling fulfilled in life…

When one has found an intimate partner, relationships may be still panning out not in the way you’d like them to. Each of us has our own habits, hobbies, character flaws and it sometimes crisscrosses those of our partner’s. It may happen that even the slightest things create disharmony, for example, one person wants to watch TV, the other one – to go to nature, one wants to rest, the other one is telling him to work. Our beloved’s habits start annoying us even when seemingly nothing is wrong. Why does this happen? Why is fancy and love replaced by annoyance, dissatisfaction and anger. Oftentimes, it happens because trying to control appears, to change around the life of our beloved. In truth, no person can change the other, only he can change himself. Two people choose to be together, because it’s nice for them to be together. Trying to control ruins it. Our beloved person can’t be a tool to achieve our goals – it’s a fellow human being that you’re walking alongside with. If your beloved doesn’t want something you have to offer, it means you’re not on the way with it. Choose together those paths that are on the way for the both of you.

By choosing to be with a person, you must accept him and love him – all of him, not just his bright side – only then can you help enlighten his dark side. If a person loves you and he’s with you, that doesn’t make him yours. Each person is free from his nature and always wants to stay that way. Those who take away freedom, love in a perverted way, harming their beloved. Everything we do with willingness and joy happens much easier and doesn’t drain, because the used off life force is replenished. And when you’re forced to do something and being controlled to do it, it simply gets drained, and its place is taken by negative energy. In the long run, such person gets exhausted and drained. Sicknesses start to occur, one can no longer realize themselves and becomes a marionette. Oftentimes such people start using intoxicants, because they see the only way to run away from the oppression and cease being controlled. If you plan to do something, then always do it from your heart, with joy. Allow your beloved person to do that, too. Only in free will, can there be harmony.

ATTACHMENT is when a person can no longer be without his beloved, when being apart creates a dissatisfaction, anger, fear of loss, jealousy and other negative energies. Then the person´s freedom is limited again. Each person has to be with the other only when we wishes it himself. If that´s not the case, you turn into energetic vampires, hurting your loved one.

Attachment is a great harm to yourself, too, because then you forget yourself as an individual being that needs to grow by itself. And a lack of independence results in fear of loss.

You don´t trust your beloved? That means you don’t trust yourself, you don’t trust your relationship and you don’t trust your love. Where can a relationship filled with jealousy, mistrust and tension lead? Definitely not to harmonious relationships… The only way is to let go and be together whenever you both want to. Then you will fill each other with love, joy and be inseparable.

Never blame a close one for behaving with you negatively, because by blaming them you’ll only ruin the relationship even more. Forgive. Start positive relationships with yourself. Then you’ll witness them change. Everything that happens to us is always because of ourselves, so that we understand, realize something. We change and life changes.

Rokas Jarašius.